Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
