Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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