She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the night ended with taco bell and tears
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
