You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
