Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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