I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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