my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
