but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize