hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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