Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
