i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He shit in the fireplace
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
