problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize