I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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