One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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