also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
