wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
