Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
