I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
