My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Best friends brother. Beat that.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
