I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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