you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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