i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
