Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
