We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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