There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i drank out of a bidet.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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