it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
