Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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