Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
