i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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