So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
