Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Too much gin, very little bucket
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
