doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His nipple licking is glorious
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