We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
