I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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