I'm going to jail i love you
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
