fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
