ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
