I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize