You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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