True but thats because hes a fetus.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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