I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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