peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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