i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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