I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
