Fine. I'll sleep in my office
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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