just tell him i said nine months
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
