Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
