no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
