She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
