fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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