Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize