I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
