i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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