you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
