But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
