If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
