the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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