You really coming over, don't trick.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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