his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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