u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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